Women: How to Be Beautiful Without Trying Too Hard

Many women worry about how to look beautiful without overdoing it. Trying too hard can look desperate, or worse, slutty. Remember that beautiful and slutty are not the same – they both have the goal of attracting a man’s attention, but with different end results. If you’re just out for a one night stand or short term physical relationship, slutty can work for you. Men are hardwired in certain ways and it’s not that difficult to attract their attention on the most basic, primal level.

But remember the difference. If your strategy is to find a partner for a long-term relationship by picking someone up for sex, that’s not a very good strategy. Yes, of course, it has happened – there’s always an exception that proves the rule. But the odds are long against it. Very long against it.

Looking desperate isn’t much better – if you look like you’re trying too hard, or don’t know what you’re doing, you can elicit laughter or pity instead of attraction and desire. Wearing something that’s completely wrong for your body type often looks desperate, or ridiculous.

So let’s talk about what you can do to look beautiful without trying too hard.

Beauty Is Confidence

First, remember that beauty is confidence. You can gain confidence many different ways. When it comes to clothing, the best way to dress beautifully is to wear something that makes you feel confident. I don’t mean something that makes you feel comfortable – that’s different. Baggy old sweat pants and an extra large T-shirt and flip flop sandals might be quite comfortable, but they won’t make you feel confident in a public place if that’s what you’re after.

Choose clothes that make you feel confident and beautiful. Choose clothes that fit well and flatter your body type. If you have any doubt, it’s always better to veer a little more to the conservative side. Not too much, but a little.

If an outfit makes you feel self conscious or ridiculous, then don’t wear it. If you spend all your time worrying about looking ridiculous, you won’t be able to relax and be confident. Instead of looking beautiful you will likely look anxious.

Don’t Forget About Grooming

Grooming is also important. Not over grooming, just some grooming. Keep yourself clean and take care of your nails and eyebrows and such if that makes you feel more attractive. You don’t need long fancy nails in wild colors to be beautiful, but if you do like a bright manicure, then take care of it.

If you keep your nails simple and natural, trim them and keep them neat, rather than gnawing on them and letting them get ragged and red around the edges where you’ve chewed on them. If your nail polish chips off, fix it. Pluck your eyebrows or get them waxed if it makes you feel more attractive and confident. But don’t pluck them completely away and then redraw them, as that looks unnatural.

Working Out

You don’t have to go to the gym and kill yourself trying to sculpt the perfect, rock hard body. But you do need exercise, something regular to keep you fit and, just as important, to keep you feeling confident and positive about yourself. Don’t go to the gym and focus on the end result – how you hope to look someday, or how many pounds you hope to lose. Rather focus on the process and the enjoyment of using your muscles and body and getting some exercise. Working out releases lots of positive endorphins that are better than any antidepressant pill at improving your mood.

If the gym isn’t your sort of thing, then make sure to take a walk every day, or ride your bike, or swim. Do something physical every day and you will automatically feel more relaxed and confident in your own skin.

Personality Is Also a Thing of Beauty

Your personality contributes a great deal to your beauty, so don’t neglect it. I don’t mean you should pretend to be someone you aren’t – that’s not it at all. It means you should make an effort to be a cheerful, happy, interesting person, as this makes you automatically more attractive.

To be more interesting, you should have something you are interested in that you know a little about and can talk about. Many people suffer from some sort of social anxiety when they have to talk to other people at a party or similar mixer type event.

Learn something new as often as you can. Take a class or read a book about something you’re curious about. Using your mind and keeping it active is a great positive contributor to your mood and personality, which again gives you more confidence and a more relaxed, easy kind of beauty.

Think about the things that you find attractive in others and consider how to apply them in your own situation. How do other women you know and consider beautiful dress and carry themselves? The most attractive thing about a person, after all, is not their clothing or their makeup or the structure of their cheekbones.

It is their smile.

Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship coach, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica's got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.