You told her to reach out to you if she wants to see you yet it seems like you’ve been messaging her, so that statement of yours may have already totally lost its validity to her. Anyway why is she still getting in touch with her ex husband? If they’ve been talking about important things like their kids, then really try to evaluate if this is something you can put up with in the long run.Because being jealous everytime her ex husband contacts her will only lead to unnecessary drama that’s sure to wear your relationship down — if it hasn’t already. I also discourage you from saying to her how she can reach out to you if she wants to see you. I just don’t see a point there because you’re merely stating the obvious and of course, your ex already knows she can reach you whenever. Here’s a quick overview: Get Your Ex Back
Lots of folks seem to be oblivious about it, so here goes: the 30-day “no contact” rule, once COMPLETED, is just the first phase for most people (unless your ex sincerely wanted you back and it’s shown in their actions). There are two more phases to go through if you want an ex back, and the third is to rekindle/rebuild the attraction with an ex. Learn the basics here: How To Get Your Ex Back (Step-By-Step Guide To Reversing A Breakup).

Don’t go there. Just don’t. Like I said, try to put your focus elsewhere because your ex is likely rebounding and it won’t do you any good to keep worrying about it. Watch this: Signs Your Ex’s Rebound Relationship Will Fail
This should hopefully get you back on track with what you ought to be doing during this time: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare)

How’s you know all this about your ex’s new beau? Try to put your focus elsewhere because your ex is likely rebounding and it won’t do you any good to keep worrying about it. Watch this: Signs Your Ex’s Rebound Relationship Will Fail This should hopefully get you back on track with what you ought to be doing during this time: Want Your Ex Back? Stop Thinking About Them! (Psychological Warfare).

Oh, she goes to see him Mondays and comes back Thursday evenings. Also I fear that each time she goes to visit him she begins to care less & less for me.

Hey Ricardo! I suggest to try to limit your contact with your ex. And by that I mean only interact with her only when absolutely necessary. Okay? Don’t go around acting like you’re back together because unless she’s asking for you back, you’re only deceiving yourself, man. Anyway your case is actually one of the few cases where the “no contact” rule is an exception…but DON’T initiate random contact in any way and don’t make any unnecessary chitchats, all right?I’ve discussed it in these videos, as well as how to handle it: When Is It Bad To Ignore Your Ex? Exceptions To The ‘No Contact’ Rule
and How To Act Around Your Ex (6 Tips For Handling Post-Breakup Encounters)
but read my Ex Factor Guide so you’ll have an in-depth view on how to go about it, what to do after each phase (there are three phases in total), including what to say, do or not do, etc. since good timing is essential. Okay? Take care!

Continue to have sex with her, especially if she initiates, but always make sure to focus on your own life as well so you won’t unknowingly smother her, okay? It seems like you know where to put your focus on, so that’s a good start. Focus on your business for a while. IT may be too soon, though, so try to see you aren’t rushing it. Getting an ex back is a process. Look out for the signs that your ex has moved on, though: Is Your Ex Moving On? (How To Tell) But evaluate things, too. Are you sure you’re not trying to rush it? Setting a deadline is a good way to fail when it comes to exes, so I highly discourage it. What steps have you taken to get your ex back? It’s time to re-assess those and see what’s working versus what’s not working. Sometimes, getting an ex back is like trying to fit a square into a circle, but oftentimes, chances are you’re letting emotion dictate you and therefore end up making the wrong choices. Have you checked out my guide yet? It’s ultimately up to you to act (or not act, depending on which phase you’re in) on getting your ex back, but it helps if you read it to know that you’re on the right track.

Hi Vickey! My first suggestion is to try to stick to the “no contact” rule this time. Do the complete 30 days first. Greeting her on her birthday doesn’t count as breaking the rule. A situation with an ex is often fragile, so you’d really want to omit, if not minimize these mistakes. It’s one step forward, two steps backward with an ex & there are no unlimited chances with them, so if you can do it right moving forward, then do so. Check out my guide so you won’t end up making the same mistakes. Good luck!