Guys: Here’s How Fear Is Preventing You From Finding Love
By Mark Belmont
I’ve worked with a lot of single guys. Sure, some of them are just interested in getting laid, and that’s cool with me. Committed relationships aren’t for everyone, and sometimes your life doesn’t really lend itself to a serious relationship.
Most men I’ve worked with, though, are looking for more than just a warm body to sleep with. They’re looking for a girlfriend. They’re looking for a partner. They’re looking for love.
And while you might be tempted to think of these single-and-desperate guys as a bunch of ugly losers, that’s not the case at all.
Typically, the dudes I talk to that haven’t had much luck finding a girlfriend are down-to-earth, genuine guys with lots of appealing traits that women crave.
Fear Holds Relationships Back
So, why might a smart, funny, decent-looking guy struggle to land a date or find a girlfriend? There are a few reasons, but the one that tends to be the most pressing is fear.
Too many single guys are scared shitless at the thought of approaching an attractive women and striking up a conversation with her.
And guess what? You aren’t going to meet your soulmate if you’re too much of a pussy to say hello to a girl.
It’s far too easy to push your “approach anxiety” problems to the side, focusing on what you perceive to be your other shortcomings. But if you’re sitting around — alone, with no girls in sight — and trying to decide on a hairstyle or pickup line that will land you a date, then you’re wasting your time.
The reality is this: finding love isn’t a matter of waiting until the right girl walks into your life. It’s going to require a whole lot more effort than that.
It’s A Numbers Game
I hate to break it to you, but finding a girlfriend often comes down to a game of numbers. If you go out on 20 dates with 20 eligible single ladies, then your chances of finding one that you like enough to see a second time are very good.
And what do you have to do in order to land 20 dates? Sure, you’ll want to make sure your appearance isn’t hurting your chances, and you might want to learn a few seduction strategies to help your game along, but the real key is landing those 20 dates in the first place!
Just Get Out There and Do It!
How do you get a date with an attractive, single girl? There are several options: you could use online dating websites, join a club for singles, do speed dating, etc.
But the most effective way is to simply approach and begin talking to any girl that you happen to find attractive.
Approaching lots of women will require you to grow a pair of balls and overcome your approach anxiety. You can’t sit around and hope for a convenient time and place to present itself: You have to be proactive, push aside all thoughts of rejection and all fears of looking foolish, and say hello to her.
So, to any guys complaining about being single who happen to be waiting around for the perfect girl to show up, here’s a reality check: Your fear is costing you opportunities to meet the girl of your dreams.
The sooner you overcome this fear, the sooner you’ll find what you’re looking for.
Mark Belmont
Mark Belmont, BSc, is a cross between Giorgio Armani and David DeAngelo. He’s a style and fashion consultant with a passion for helping single men improve their dating and love life. Mark’s list of “Universally Attractive” fashion and grooming tips has turned thousands of average men into dapper, well-dressed James Bonds.