How To Tell Her You Love Her

“Saying I love you first is like striking first in a duel; if you miss, you’re ****d!” – Mark, Peep Show

Yes, that’s one of my most favourite quotes about telling someone you love them. It addresses the fear we all experience when the time comes: That they don’t feel the same.

So if you love someone, how do you tell them?

Well, guys tend to overthink this. They think that if they say “I love you” too early, it will backfire if their girl doesn’t feel the same. While this is a fair and often understandable fear, it isn’t justified.

But if you want to put your fears to rest, here are some tips that will help you determine if your girl loves you back!

How do you tell if she loves you?

1. She calls you and texts you often.

2. She tells you that she enjoys being with you and wants to spend a lot of time with you.

3. She makes you or buys you things.

4. She talks about you to her friends.

5. She plans trips with you.

6. She talks about a future together with you.

7. She doesn’t talk about any other guy.

8. She holds your hand and is very physical with you.

9. She gives you “the look.”

10. She tells her family about you.

Even if she does only half of these things, it’s a safe bet that she’s totally head-over-heels in love with you. If she hardly displays any of these behaviours, then you might want to take it slow and give her feelings some time to grow.

If she’s showing you some or all of these signs, she has strong feelings for you, so it’s worth taking the risk! Go somewhere quiet, private, and romantic. Look into her eyes. Tell her like you mean it and then kiss her.

And If She Doesn’t Say “I Love You” Back?

Don’t panic. If she doesn’t say it back, there are several reasons why, and not all of them mean you are doomed. Maybe she’s just nervous or panicked. Maybe she just isn’t ready for that. Maybe she has a fear of commitment. At any rate, if she doesn’t say I love you back, you need not panic or act all down all of a sudden.

In fact, say “I love you” without expecting to hear it back. If you don’t hear it back, don’t dwell, just continue talking about something else. Don’t let it bother you — if she senses this, things will become awkward and you risk her losing some attraction for you.

Don’t Pressure Her to Say It

If she does want to talk about it, stay positive. Just say it’s okay that she’s not ready or she doesn’t love you back — yet. And then give her a cute little wink. She’ll love this. Then carry on, acting as much as possible like nothing’s happened.

But don’t say I love you again until she says it to you — if you keep pushing this agenda, things will surely go sour very fast, so be patient.

Remember, there’s no magic formula to make someone love you. It’s just something that happens. If making somebody love you was so easy, then love wouldn’t be all that special.

So be patient.

If she does say I love you back, then congratulations! You’re in it for the long haul. 🙂

Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship coach, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica's got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.