What Women Look For In A Man: 12 Things

For some reason, there’s a general lack of knowledge among men when it comes to the characteristics women want in a boyfriend or husband. Some guys even seem to think this is a closely-guarded secret.

In actual fact, though, there’s really no mystery at all — almost all girls find a certain set of characteristics to be extremely attractive and desirable in a man.

What, exactly, are these character traits that the ladies lust after?  What do you need to do to be every girl’s dream guy?  Well, here are 12 characteristics you’ll want to demonstrate if you’re going to show the ladies that you’re “Mr Perfect.”

1.You Are a Confident Leader 

Women are naturally attracted to men in positions of power.  There’s a reason why all the girls in your high school wanted to sleep with the star quarterback of the football team and not the backup kicker.

There’s a reason why women chase after the lead singer of a rock band and not the guy sweeping up the stage after a show.  The ability to lead and be powerful is one of the most effective aphrodisiacs.

2. You Don’t Let Others Affect Your Reality

Especially on an emotional level.  Attractive women are used to seeing men become emotionally flustered in their presence, so when they encounter a guy who is completely unaffected by them, they can’t help but notice.

Women have an uncanny ability to deduce how sexually needy you are, and not allowing yourself to be affected by gorgeous women shows a total lack of neediness!

3. You Don’t Care What Other People Think of You

Men who don’t care about the opinions of others tend to be confident, powerful alpha males.  Watch a few action movies and you’ll usually find that the leading male character (the ‘hero’) shares this quality.  This indifference to the opinions of others goes hand-in-hand with confidence and leadership, which are both very sexy traits.

4. You’re Handsome  

Just like a lot of women, many guys in relationships “let themselves go” and stop doing the little things needed to maintain their appearance.

Being clean and stylish does wonders for creating attraction, especially if you already possess some of the other traits in this list.

5. You Know How to Provoke a Positive Emotional Response in Women

In other words, you know how to have fun and make the ladies laugh.

You know that song “girls just wanna have fun?” There’s some truth to that. 

If you ask a woman what she looks for in a man, there’s a very good chance that she’ll probably say “humor.”  You don’t have to turn into a stand-up comedian overnight, but you should know how to show a girl a good time.

6. You’re Not Needy

You are culturally, mentally, and emotionally rich, and you are a selfless giver to the ones you love.  It takes a lot for someone to get into your “good books,” and you never ask for money or love.  You’re a high-value dude who doesn’t need any handouts to get where you’re going in life. 

7. You Are Intelligent and Talented

You have passions and interests that extend beyond video-games and beer pong.

Women are attracted to men that have skills and talents. Maybe you can paint, play the violin, or write poetry.  Maybe you can run marathons or bench press a house.

What your talents are isn’t the important thing – it’s that you have them to begin with.

8. You Are Social

You’ve got a ton of friends and you’re well-known and well-liked by others. You love your friends and treat them with respect.  You can make new friends without much difficulty, and you don’t surround yourself with losers or low-value people.

9. You Have Goals

You’re ambitious and hard-working. No self-respecting woman wants a lazy, unmotivated boyfriend.  You know what you want from life and what your goals are, and you’re working towards achieving them.

You don’t have to shoot for the stars — even deciding you’re going to make something new and exotic for dinner and then following through with it can be very attractive.

10. Other Women Want You

When a woman sees that you’re surrounded by and/or wanted by other attractive ladies, she’s going to immediately assume you’re pretty awesome.

It’s called “pre-selection.”  In other words, if a girl sees other women chasing after you, she’ll assume you’re an alpha male and join in chasing after you as well.

11. You’re Always Comfortable to Be Around

You aren’t constantly stressed out about your life.  You’re always cool, calm, and collected.  You usually have a calm and relaxed demeanor about yourself.

You don’t cause unnecessary drama or become flustered over small things. (Can you think of a time when James Bond ever gets flustered or stressed?  Never — and he’s as sexy as they come!).

12. You Are a Manly Man, But Also Sensitive

Yes, for the most part you are a man’s man, and you get what you want.  You’re strong (emotionally and physically), but you’re also not afraid to show some vulnerability.  By showing the world that you’re not a robot, you make yourself more likeable and more approachable.

Putting It All Together

Are these 12 characters traits an exhaust list?  Are they the only things that women look for in a man?

Of course not. All women are different. However, the traits I outlined above are typically universally accepted as desirable character traits, so if you want to make yourself as attractive as possible to the opposite sex, then these 12 things would be a great start.

Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship coach, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica's got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.