Reader Question: My Boyfriend Wants Sex — What to do?

“Hey LoveLearnings.com,

My name is Audra and I’m 17 years old. I have a boyfriend who I really like … like a lot! I like him so much that I would do almost anything for him.

However, I do have a huge problem. My boyfriend is pushing me to have sex with him. We’ve only been going out for about 1 month but I really, really like him. He says that if we don’t have sex within a week, he’s going to break up with me. I don’t know if I’m ready to have sex with him or not. What should I do?

I feel like I shouldn’t give in because it’s pretty much rape, right? However, I don’t want to lose him because other than that, he treats me right.

Let me know what I should do in this situation!

Audra
Regina, Canada”

Hi Audra,

And thanks for your question this week. This is a question that we get a lot from women your age, and it’s a problem that’s been around for a long time! Pushy boyfriends!

Let’s get a few facts out of the way before I break down your situation. You’re 17. I’m assuming you’re a virgin, but even if you’re not, you should be holding your ground if you aren’t ready to have sex.

Your inexperience with it can lead to very bad and complicated things.

What Does Love Have to Do With It?

Listen, it doesn’t matter if you love this guy or not (or think you love this guy), if you are even slightly hesitant to give it all up for him, then you shouldn’t. You should be waiting until you’re fully ready.

I know you like this guy, but if he’s a guy worth having around, then he’ll stick to it no matter what.

So be strong and tell him exactly that!

“I’m not ready yet. I don’t like it when you force me to do things like that. If you’re going to continue doing this, then I’m gone.”

If he’s not willing to stay around after you’ve said that, then why are you dating him?

Be Sure It Isn’t Just About Sex With Him

At your age, you have to learn a few things about men — especially young men. A lot of guys just want to have sex. Surprise, surprise! So you need to be sure that this guy is going to care for you before you even consider getting sexual with him.

And remember, if you do decide to bail on him, there’s always plenty of fish in the sea.

Good luck, Audra! Thanks for writing LoveLearnings.com.

Jessica Raymond

Jessica Raymond, BSc, is LoveLearnings senior editor. As a relationship coach, Jessica has helped hundreds of men and women achieve their relationship dreams. Whether it’s finding your one true love or simply charming someone on a date, Jessica's got your back! In her articles, she reveals little-known, psychological tips that will make even the coldest person chase you around like a little puppy.