How to Create Deep Intimacy With Your Spouse

Want to learn how to create a DEEP, intimate connection with your spouse?

I’m going to give you some quick tips to stir up the romance with your partner right now.

And I’ll tell you how to maintain that passion for the long haul.

First off, it’s totally normal and natural for the passion and intimacy to fade over time. When this happens, some couples freak out… and they start to think that their relationship is getting stale and boring.

But in order to combat this, you need to replace that excitement and romance with a stronger, deeper emotional bond. And if you DON’T do this, don’t be surprised if your marriage slowly begins to wither away…

How To Create Deeper Intimacy

But…there’s good news. There are things that you can do RIGHT NOW to make sure that the spark in your marriage remains alive… and build a deeper connection with your spouse then you’ve ever had before.

So without further ado, here’s a quick list of PROVEN tips to re-ignite that deep intimacy in your marriage…

1. Spend some time apart

Ever heard of the saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”? Well, this is totally true… and it’s just as true when it comes to building a deep, emotional bond with your partner.

It’s incredibly important for your husband or wife to have separate hobbies, friends, and life… and you can use these things to allow each other to have some much needed breathing room.

I know, this might be hard if you’re both working from home or if you have kids, but you need to try and do your best to make sure that your partner has their alone time (and that you do too).

RELATED: Five Signs of a Cheating Spouse

After spending some time apart, I guarantee you that you will be wanting to be with your spouse ten times more… and that could very well translate to more intimacy, romance, and sexual attraction if done right.

2. Use your words to communicate deeply and emotionally

Just saying “I love you” isn’t enough sometimes… I mean, after you’ve said this a thousand times to your partner, it loses its effect.

What you need to do instead is to be SPECIFIC when describing what you love about your spouse. Instead of just saying, “I love you”, say something like… “I love the way I feel in your arms”… or… “I’ve always loved how your eyes looked at night.”

Yeah yeah, it might sound cheesy when I say it to you right here in this video… but if you find the right time to drop one of these lines, it can really increase the intimate connection between you and your spouse.

3. Go on an adventure

It’s important to keep things interesting with your partner… so be adventurous and try new things. Go to a cooking class, painting class, or music class. Maybe do something really fun and active… or if you REALLY want to be bold, get your spouse to go skydiving with you.

Boredom is the killer of passion, so if you and your spouse are always doing the exact same thing, day in and day out, don’t be surprised if the romance in your marriages vanishes. If you stay adventurous, you’ll keep things spicy and exciting.

4. Make small gestures for your partner

If they’re tired, bite the bullet and do all the house chores. Take out the garbage, feed the kids, and do whatever you need to so that your partner can relax. Don’t make a big deal out of it – just do it. Your partner will notice it and appreciate it.

These small gestures will eventually add up… and your partner will be far more receptive to any romantic advances that you’ll make.

5. Stop judging your spouse

If you’re constantly passing judgement and belittling your partner, you’ll push them further and further away from you… and this will obviously impact your love life with him or her.

Remember, you married your spouse for some very good reasons and it’s important to not take him or her for granted.

RELATED: Five Signs Your Marriage Is Doomed

Of course, no relationship is ever perfect… but if you’re constantly honing in on small imperfections, you will do far more damage than good. And once this starts negatively impacting your sex life, your relationship may start a slow spiral downhill.

6. Try and see your spouse through the eyes of someone else

This is going to sound weird when I say this, but there are going to be some people out there that are more attracted to your partner than you are.

Now that that awkwardness is out of the way… let me tell you what I mean by this. You see…when you meet someone new, it’s exciting and you’re more willing to overlook their flaws (even though they OBVIOUSLY have a few you haven’t discovered yet).

Try and put yourself in the position of someone that’s never met your partner before… and then try to pick out all the good characteristics he or she has

Or better yet, remember what it felt like when YOU first met your spouse. I guarantee you that you’ll feel better and more attracted to your spouse after this very simple mental exercise!

Just a quick reminder that while this video is jam packed with great tips… but if you want the COMPLETE guide to making your husband or wife swoon all over you, then head on over to this page.

It’s a complete, how-to guide… and I guarantee you that you’ll learn a ton about connecting deeply with your spouse.

7. Stop phubbing your spouse

Phubbing is mean, you ask? It means you’re snubbing somebody in favour of your phone. Almost half of people in relationships say that phubbing is a problem in their relationship…

So instead of “phubbing” your partner, put your phone away… in fact, most phones have a “do not disturb” feature that you can easily turn on and off. So when you’re spending quality time with your spouse, just turn your notifications off.

RELATED: Does Marriage Counselling Really Work?

It’s easy to do and your partner will appreciate that you’re willing to put 100% of your focus on them… and this will in turn translate to a deeper connection and more intimacy.

8. Get in shape

Now this one is pretty self explanatory and I’m not going to get into reasons why this is a good thing… but focusing a little bit of time everyday to your body will drive your spouse wild with desire for you. I guarantee it.

9. Make time for what THEY find important

If your partner likes bird watching and they want you to join them, try your best to be there for them, even if it’s not your thing. This has been studied by marriage psychologists, and it’s called being able to “Turn In” to your spouse.

In contrast, “Turning Away” from your spouse means that you’re not willing to engage in your partner’s interests… and this destroys intimacy.

So make sure that you do try and spend some time with your partner doing only what THEY want once in a while.

10. Improve your spouse

Have the goal of helping your spouse become a better person every single year.

Do they have fitness goals? Work goals? School goals?

Help them get there and be their #1 fan because the more you grow together, the closer you will both get and the deeper the connection you’ll have. And most of the time, a deeper connection means a better sex life, too.

11. Speak their love language

I think I talked about this in depth in my other marriages, so if you’re interested in this, then I highly recommend you check them out right after this video. But this is based on Gary Chapman’s 5 love languages

• Gift Giving
• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

Every person has their own ‘love language’ or their preference in how they want to be treated.

Some people like physical touch, others like receiving gifts. In order for your marriage and sex life to thrive, you’ll need to speak your spouse’s love language.

Again, I cover this far more in depth in this video so check that out right after this.

12. Get help

If you think you’ve tried literally EVERYTHING on this list and nothing has worked, consider marriage counselling. Talking to a certified marriage counsellor could help you get over whatever intimacy problems you might have with your spouse.

However, there are other solutions that are FAR cheaper and in many ways, much better.

You should consider enrolling in my personal marriage coaching program. For one, it is FAR more affordable than going to a marriage counsellor… and two, you can start getting help today, WITHOUT your spouse’s participation or knowledge.

Yes, there are certain things you can do right now, on your own, that would have a meaningful impact on how your partner perceives you. So if you’re interested in my personal coaching program, head on over to this page to see how it works and how you can sign up!

Brad Browning

Brad Browning is widely regarded as the world's most trusted breakup experts, boasting over 12 years of experience working with clients from around the world. Brad's #1 best-selling breakup reversal guide, The Ex Factor, has helped more than 130,000 people from 131 countries to re-unite with an ex. Brad is also the author of Mend The Marriage, a comprehensive self-help guide that teaches married couples how to save their dying marriage and prevent divorce. Brad’s YouTube channel has over 400,000 subscribers and 50 million views, and he has been featured in a number of well-known media outlets and industry journals.